writing

This years daylight savings should be a safer one for all involved

Posted on by Talker99

With more cops on duty, more volunteer patrol services and a new, far stricter punishment for criminals than of years past, it’s definitely looking like this years annual, Daylight Savings Spring forward, Fall back, will be less about time travel crimes and more about actually saving some daylight.

Last year was a record year in time travel crimes, all committed on or around Daylight savings time(the only day of the year that time travel is possible). With over 236 murders, 28,764 robberies and 689,976 timeline takebacks (people do something wrong an hour before the time shift and then take it back as if nothing happened when time shifts to an hour before or after).

This year though police are hoping to cut those numbers in half, starting with more community awareness campaigns and more officers on duty at the time of the shift. (with the exception of Arizona, who will see no such time shift due to the polarity of the Earth at the time of the change)

One of the biggest hurdles facing us as usual is the over abundance of Half-lifes.

Half-lifes, in case you didn’t know, are the people who were supposed to have died during the change in time but didn’t, placing them in a sort of controlled stasis until the time shifts back. These people raise many concerns for the public as they are met with both fear and pity by those they come in contact with.

Imagine waking after a month long coma and finding out you were supposed to have died during the time shift, while you may feel better, you also know that when the time shifts back you will be dying as scheduled and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it.

Many Half-lifes face their last moments with a respectable attitude, but there are some who choose a more anarchist attitude towards all they meet. If you meet any of these types of Half-lifes during the months after the time shift, police are asking you to contact them immediately. A response team will arrive to handle the situation.

Overall, let’s make this time shift fun and worth while for everyone involved, after all, think of all the Daylight you will be saving.

Exclusive Interview: Mothman

Posted on by Talker99

Talker99 was granted an interview with the Mothman of Point Pleasant, West Virginia, to coincide with the release of it’s new book “Moth to a flame: The story of the Mothman”.

In it he talks candidly about the events leading up to the collapse of the Silver Bridge and how its affected him since.

Talker99– Mothman, first off, thank you for coming. It was starting to seem like this interview was never going to take place.

Mothman– Life has been pretty hectic as of late. It seems like every other day I’m being flown to some city for a book signing or t.v. appearance…. Pleasure to be here though.

T99– Let’s talk about the Silver Bridge collapse first and the events surrounding it.

MM– Man, bringing out the big guns….(lights a cigarette) Alright, shoot.

T99– The Silver Bridge collapse, which killed 46 people on January 11th, 1967, has been open for debate as to what your involvement might have actually been.

Some say you were trying to warn people, others say you were the real reason it happened, and then quite a few people choose to believe that you simply do not exist. What are your thoughts?

MM– You’re damn right I was trying to warn them! It’s not because I’m a psychic or a gypsy prophet like most believe, at the end of the day I’m just a Mothman, plain and simple.

I had been trying for a while to warn the city about that bridge, but they refused to listen. All anyone ever saw was a six foot tall moth standing in front of them with glowing red eyes. They all got the message, it’s just that they never heard it.

T99– And what was your message?

The Mothman standing on a bridge, looking spooky.

The Mothman standing on a bridge, looking spooky.

MM– That they better get up there and fix that shit ass bridge, that’s what the message was! (takes a long drag off cigarette and then throws it down angrily) The Silver Bridge was a death trap, it didn’t take much to see that.

At the time I lived within eyesight of it. I saw the accidents firsthand that would happen on that bridge! I knew that it was only a matter of time before……(as I listen, his eyes begin to glow a faint red, I can begin to see how someone in the dark might be frightened by him)……well, before something bad happened.(takes a long drag on cigarette, as he does this, one of his wings raises into the air)

When that bridge fell I just disappeared. Went down to visit some family in Georgia. I thought briefly of settling down there after I met a girl though. She worked at the local hospital and she smelled like fresh cut blueberries….she was beautiful….., but when I asked for her hand she said no. Her family just didn’t approve of her being with a Moth.

That’s all anyone saw, a six foot moth. They never could look past my wings and see the six foot man standing there as well……

I don’t harbor any ill will toward them though. It was a different time and there was still a lot of social injustice going around for anyone that was a minority. There still is I guess……I honestly thought Obama would have changed that sort of mind frame in people……and maybe he did for the blacks, but for the Mothmen, well, lets just say that not only am I not allowed to sit in the front of the bus, I’m not even allowed on the bus. It’s a shame really….

continued on page 67