Recent Cattle mutilations blamed on Critters

At least 14 cattle have been found dead in Brazoria, Texas with dozens more unaccounted for.

Police are at a loss as to what may be responsible but we at Tàlker99 believe we know whom the culprit may very well be…..

Last month, Leonardo DiCaprio was in Brazoria scouting locations for his next film, the sequel to What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, titled, What Ate Gilbert Grape.

Unreported by the local news media and fanzines that follow Leo around, four of his Critters got loose while he was out dining in Cognito(a Spanish restaurant).

You may or may not remember that Leo was in a little film titled Critters 3.

Mysteriously, four Critters disappeared from the set the day Leo left and when calls were placed to his home, they were always met with an annoying wrong number notification.

We did some digging and uncovered this shocking photo that speaks for itself

Photo: Speaking for itself

Photo: Speaking for itself

. Now we don’t want to raise the alarm here but it’s been a long day already and really this is all we got for you to read. Honestly, I’m surprised you made it this far into this story. I would have left when I read the word Critters.

To each his own I guess. See you tomorrow.

Oh, and call your mom. She misses you.

Scientists agree that its Sunny

Birmingham, Al

At least five scientists in Birmingham have announced that it is indeed Sunny today.

This comes at a time when most of the scientists in the Birmingham community were at a loss as to why it wasn’t sunny, especially when it looked like it should be.

Matt Reeves, a scientist, talked to us by phone and told us what the mood was throughout his community, “Quite happy actually. I mean, the math was there and all signs showed that it was to be sunny…. but these last few days, well….they just left us with no sun. When it finally did come out it just proved that all our results from testing had in fact been correct, the sun was finally out.”

News as it updates.