Jesus spotted at J.F.K. International Airport

Jesus Christ was recently spotted coming out of a plane at JFK International Airport, prompting believers to say that the son of the lord has finally returned home, though nothing has been confirmed yet from God

Coming off of a 6 hour American airlines flight from Houston, Jesus looked to be at peace with those around him despite the crown of thorns on his head and the fact that he died for all of our sins.

According to inflight personnel, Jesus was very pleasant, kept to himself and blessed most of the passengers on board before take off, prompting one atheist to “seriously think about converting”.

No word as to why Jesus was in New York.

Fourteen year old girl can’t wait to leave home

Kendra Hearst, age fourteen, said  today that she “can’t freaking wait till (she’s) old enough to get the hell out of this stupid hillbilly town and away from idiots like you!”

The “you” that Kendra was referring to are her parents, Daryl and Samantha Hearst, and the town in question is Gypsy, Wyoming, population 22,000.

No word yet as to where Kendra might go but early reports are saying it might be Jeremy Kirkpatrick’s house.