Man from Nantucket arrested

Following the late night raid of the Orchid Sunrise massage parlor, Fred Hamilton of Nantucket, North Dakota, was arrested and charged with two counts of indecent exposure and one charge of resisting arrest.

Hamilton, you may remember, gained fame when a limerick written about him became popular in bars and pubs around the world.

As the popularity of the rhyme grew, Fred, (who at the time was a freshman at the local university), found himself propelled into a world of celebrity.

We recently unearthed a rare 1981 interview that Fred did with Rolling Stone magazine during the height of his popularity. In it he talks of how the limerick has affected his life and what has changed for him in terms of career, future goals and family. Below are portions of that interview.

Rolling stone– So I’ve got to ask….can you really suck it?

Hamilton– (laughs) Well, we certainly don’t pull any punches do we? To answer your question, yes, I can in fact, suck it. Would you like to see?

R.S.- No, no. That’s quite all right, maybe later.

H-Very well.

R.S.– Your friend Robert Wilson wrote this limerick about you because, as he puts it, it was the most extraordinary and sickening thing he had ever seen. Is there a story behind that.

H– I don’t know about a story, but one Saturday night at the dorm a bunch of us were drinking and trying to one up each other.

You know, like I can do a back flip or you can tie a cherry stem in your mouth, basic kid stuff just to impress. Well everyone gets done showing off and I hadn’t said anything the whole time. Robert looks over at me and asks me if I had anything to add. I looked up at everyone in the room and said, “Yeah. I can suck my own dick.”

R.S.- (laughing) Really? You were that blunt?

H– Pretty much. The room was silent for a few moments, but then everyone had to see me do it. So I did. The rest is history.

R.S.- Now your tale is told in every bar around the world.

H– Yeah, it’s funny isn’t it. I mean, I’m just a kid from Nantucket. No one ever thought I would be famous, but here I am talking to Rolling Stone magazine and dating Sally Field. Go figure.

R.S.- Yes, let’s talk about your relationships.

H– Here we go.(rolls his eyes)

R.S.- You are dating Sally Field, but your previous relationship with Kathleen Turner was rocky at best.

H– She’s a bitch, yes.

R.S.- She called you a violent, coke induced little man, saying you hit her on more than one occasion and that, as of late, your rampant drug use has left you limp and insecure. Are any of these allegations true?

H– Look, I was a different man back then. I had no idea what I was doing and probably made some shit choices, I’m human. There was only one time when I did get out of control, but I never hit her, I just shook her real hard and her head was banging against the wall. She could have stopped it from banging, but she didn’t. Who’s fault is that?

R.S.- Well……

H– Her fault, that’s who. Now, as for the limp dick thing, that’s just a flat out lie.

But according to sources, Hamilton would be haunted by drug use for years to come. Eventually he fell out of the limelight when, desperate for money, Hamilton signed on to star in a series of adult films showcasing his sole talent, but on the first day of filming he could not perform. Years of drug use had left him with severe erectile dysfunction. In 1988 he moved back to the town that made him famous, Nantucket, where he has lived since.

Even though he has pleaded not guilty to the charges, this arrest may be the nail in the coffin for Fred Hamilton, the man from Nantucket.

Exclusive Interview: Mothman

Talker99 was granted an interview with the Mothman of Point Pleasant, West Virginia, to coincide with the release of it’s new book “Moth to a flame: The story of the Mothman”.

In it he talks candidly about the events leading up to the collapse of the Silver Bridge and how its affected him since.

Talker99– Mothman, first off, thank you for coming. It was starting to seem like this interview was never going to take place.

Mothman– Life has been pretty hectic as of late. It seems like every other day I’m being flown to some city for a book signing or t.v. appearance…. Pleasure to be here though.

T99– Let’s talk about the Silver Bridge collapse first and the events surrounding it.

MM– Man, bringing out the big guns….(lights a cigarette) Alright, shoot.

T99– The Silver Bridge collapse, which killed 46 people on January 11th, 1967, has been open for debate as to what your involvement might have actually been.

Some say you were trying to warn people, others say you were the real reason it happened, and then quite a few people choose to believe that you simply do not exist. What are your thoughts?

MM– You’re damn right I was trying to warn them! It’s not because I’m a psychic or a gypsy prophet like most believe, at the end of the day I’m just a Mothman, plain and simple.

I had been trying for a while to warn the city about that bridge, but they refused to listen. All anyone ever saw was a six foot tall moth standing in front of them with glowing red eyes. They all got the message, it’s just that they never heard it.

T99– And what was your message?

The Mothman standing on a bridge, looking spooky.

The Mothman standing on a bridge, looking spooky.

MM– That they better get up there and fix that shit ass bridge, that’s what the message was! (takes a long drag off cigarette and then throws it down angrily) The Silver Bridge was a death trap, it didn’t take much to see that.

At the time I lived within eyesight of it. I saw the accidents firsthand that would happen on that bridge! I knew that it was only a matter of time before……(as I listen, his eyes begin to glow a faint red, I can begin to see how someone in the dark might be frightened by him)……well, before something bad happened.(takes a long drag on cigarette, as he does this, one of his wings raises into the air)

When that bridge fell I just disappeared. Went down to visit some family in Georgia. I thought briefly of settling down there after I met a girl though. She worked at the local hospital and she smelled like fresh cut blueberries….she was beautiful….., but when I asked for her hand she said no. Her family just didn’t approve of her being with a Moth.

That’s all anyone saw, a six foot moth. They never could look past my wings and see the six foot man standing there as well……

I don’t harbor any ill will toward them though. It was a different time and there was still a lot of social injustice going around for anyone that was a minority. There still is I guess……I honestly thought Obama would have changed that sort of mind frame in people……and maybe he did for the blacks, but for the Mothmen, well, lets just say that not only am I not allowed to sit in the front of the bus, I’m not even allowed on the bus. It’s a shame really….

continued on page 67