Recent Cattle mutilations blamed on Critters

At least 14 cattle have been found dead in Brazoria, Texas with dozens more unaccounted for.

Police are at a loss as to what may be responsible but we at Tàlker99 believe we know whom the culprit may very well be…..

Last month, Leonardo DiCaprio was in Brazoria scouting locations for his next film, the sequel to What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, titled, What Ate Gilbert Grape.

Unreported by the local news media and fanzines that follow Leo around, four of his Critters got loose while he was out dining in Cognito(a Spanish restaurant).

You may or may not remember that Leo was in a little film titled Critters 3.

Mysteriously, four Critters disappeared from the set the day Leo left and when calls were placed to his home, they were always met with an annoying wrong number notification.

We did some digging and uncovered this shocking photo that speaks for itself

Photo: Speaking for itself

Photo: Speaking for itself

. Now we don’t want to raise the alarm here but it’s been a long day already and really this is all we got for you to read. Honestly, I’m surprised you made it this far into this story. I would have left when I read the word Critters.

To each his own I guess. See you tomorrow.

Oh, and call your mom. She misses you.

Google Death Star to be operational by 2027

Google, the web powerhouse that defined internet search, announced today their plans to have a fully operational Death Star built by the year 2027.

The announcement comes days after the company told us about their new public DNS service, which makes it possible for the Web Empire to know exactly what you are doing at any given time(of course they technically already do on account of Google Analytics).

This and many other forms of web services Google provides gets them one step closer to squashing the small band of online users that boldly refuse to conform to all things Google, which the company refers to as the Rebel Alliance.

The Death Star, which Google is naming the “true Google Earth”, will be a moon size space station with the capabilities of bringing a larger base of online users by linking the planet to its own massive server, ultimately providing a faster internet experience for the users and increased traffic for the webmasters.

The space station will also be equipped with a planet destroying super-weapon, which the company is down playing, saying on its blog , “Even though we are calling the weapon the Planet Killer, that’s just its development stage name. In reality we’re putting the armament there for defense against rogue comets and life destroying asteroids, two things that, as far as we know at least, no one wants around. As we at Google get closer to the final building stage we’ll be having an online contest where users will be encouraged to send in what they think would be an appropriate title for our space station, it’s going to be very exciting.”

More as it develops.