god

After years of searching, local man finds God

Posted on by Talker99

For Mike Ferrel, his personal search for God has been a journey filled with many emotional ups and downs.

For years he has been on a spiritual mission to become closer to the lord in both mind and body. He has searched throughout thousands of churches, synagogues and christian based summer camps but never found the connection he was looking for.

Yesterday Mike Ferrel finally found his Lord and Savior……he lives at 1354 Beechnut Avenue in Orlando, Florida, apartment 1264.

“I’ll be honest with you,” Mike told us by phone, “I’m a little let down. I mean, for like, twenty some odd years I’ve been looking for God and this is where I find him? In some shit apartments in fucking Orlando?! Jesus Christ man! He works at Disney World for Christs sake!”

God, who could not be reached for comment, is in fact working at Disney World. He runs the Its a small world ride where his official title is Head Technician and creator of the known universe.

We talked to his supervisor, Park manager Tammie Darson, who had this to say, “Oh yes, God is a wonderful worker, always on time and very clean in appearance. The only complaint we have ever had on him is that he does seem to think he’s always right about how the ride animations should look because he’s the “Creator”….(Sighs) but otherwise he’s a wonderful person. I do wish he would shave that beard though.”

More as it develops

Bible 2 announced

Posted on by Talker99

Santa Monica, California

God, in all his Glory, announced Tuesday that he is planning a sequel to his best selling novel of all time, “The Bible”, titled, “Bible 2”.

God took the time to sit down and tell me what the sequel is about and why exactly it took hundreds of years to complete.
“The story will take place ten years in the future. Jesus, now living in a Tibetan monastery and studying the wisdom of Buddha, has become more self reliant and sure of his place in the universe. He is also happily dating a local Orthodontist named Kristen.

It seems like the prodigal son finally is at peace with the world around him so he starts to let his hair down a bit.

He also finds he rather enjoys being out of the limelight. He especially loves living in a place that could care less who he is and enjoys just walking around town and not being constantly asked for a miracle.

All those years of carrying the sins of mankind were a bit much for him and this Jesus is a much more war torn and weary savior.

Gone is the Jesus of old, the forgiving Jesus if you will….no, this Jesus is much more cynical and distant.

Of course the little happiness that he does have is fleeting and trouble comes in a hellish way when the Devil comes back to settle a score.

Jesus must then gather up his posse of apostles and fight to save all he loves.

Its part redemption tale and part action adventure with a bit of romance thrown in for good measure.

The reason for such the long wait was simple….I had no idea where to go with the story. (he starts to laugh, a big, booming laugh that causes the lights in our office to flicker on and off) Once I had the initial plot line though it just flowed out of me and I wrote it within a week. I know the fans will love it.”

Look for this and Gods upcoming autobiography, “The Divine Light and the Creation of Me” coming this year, both from Bantom Publishing.