Chicago

Local teacher loves making fun of stereo types

Posted on by Talker99

Chicago, IL

Ronald Fisher loves making fun of his students stereo types.

He’ll do it straight to their face even. More so if he gets to do it during the Algebra class he teaches at Mary Hill High in the historic Chicago district of Englewood.

“Oh its all in good fun.” Fischer told us by phone, “I guess there is a deeper message if you really want to find one, but it’s still in good fun.

Ill tell all the students that Whites are simply the best around, no question. Of course, that statement is inevitably always argued against by my students who like Blacks.

I always win the discussion after I stand the the two side by side(Whites and Blacks) and get my kids to listen to each one.

They are shocked when they find that they can hear and understand every word coming from the Whites but just hear a jumbled mess coming from the Blacks.

Im just trying to show my students why Whites are the best choice at the end of the day.”

“I don’t care if you’re having to choose a component, bookshelf, portable, handheld, auto or marine stereo, Whites Electronics are always the best choice for both the price and quality. My students don’t understand any of this when ever they go shopping for a new type of stereo, its all about bass to them, which, admittedly, Blacks stereos are the best for that aspect… But that’s about it(chuckles)…. I guess Sony is pretty good as well, but never Kenwood.”

School officials are said to be investigating the matter but are unsure why

Talker99 Classic Retro Rewind : Next attack coming soon

Posted on by Talker99

Today on classic retro rewind we are taking you waaaayyy back to when the people were panicked, the conspiracies were in abundance and the world seemed flipped upside down…. We are talking of course about the year 2001, directly after 9/11. The article you are about to read is one published three months after that horrible day. If I’m not mistaken this is my third post I ever published. We admit that its dated for sure and the thoughts and beliefs may be a little insensitive but its still kinda funny… Sign of the times is all we can say.

All of Washington D.C. is abuzz with news that Al qaeda, the Islamic terrorist sect, is planning something big for their next attack, but how big? Talker99 sat down with Al queda member Zemar Dunis, who runs the East New Jersey Islamic Cherry Hill Gang, a non-profit cure for cancer group in Blight, New Jersey and he filled us in on whats in store.

“What the word on the Muslim street is saying is that the next bombing will be tha bomb!

Oh yes, my fellow qaeda guys are most definitely going to attack……Attack your senses, so your mind will be blown!

First, there will be a huge parade through the streets, where the many Muslim men will preach about Allah and his wisdom. Following behind the men will be their women, dressed in their best veils and looking all the more sexy as they walk through the streets covered head to toe with their heads ducked low and their mouths shut.

After the parade there will be punch and pie in the “Infidel Tent”, a kind of, meet a Muslim type setting, where the men will teach and praise Allah and his wisdom. For that the women will be at home where they belong.

Then the fun begins as two of Al qaedas best magicians come to teach of the dangers and evil that black magic will bring you as their show starts with basic parlor tricks but then turns into a den of evil, which consequently turns into a beheading of one of the Magicians.

Do not worry though, it is a fun time for the kiddies. Also, be sure to go if not to see the Black Magic fools lovely assistants, you’ll feel the heat as they help whenever called for and then stand in their corners with their mouths shut and their heads down low.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve already reserved a seat for when it happens.”

More as it updates.

International Thief Carmen Sandiego finally captured

Posted on by Talker99

One of the worlds most wanted criminals, Carmen Isabella Sandiego, has finally been caught after nearly thirty years on the run.

A joint effort between the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the ACME Detective Agency is what made the arrest finally possible.

Sandiego was apprehended at LAX this morning while en route to a buyer for her latest heist, a rare Grecian Vase from the 12th century.

“For years we have sat and wondered, Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Well, today we know…. She is in jail.” Acme Detective, Sandy Dennis, (who was the lead investigator) , told reporters this morning, “Many times we were sure that we had cornered Mrs. Sandiego, but always failing one step behind and always left holding an empty hat……her empty hat.

Thanks to a tip by one of her ex-cohorts, Baron Grinnit, we were finally able to track her and arrest her.

She will be moved to an undisclosed location while awaiting trial.”

More as events unfold

The only known photo of Carmen SanDiego

The only known photo of Carmen SanDiego

Hidden deep within this post a Ninja lies in wait

Posted on by Talker99

Hidden deep within this post, a Ninja lies in wait.

Can you spot him?

Of course you can’t, he’s a Ninja! They hide like this for a living, IT’S THEIR FUCKING JOB!

That’s right, Ninjas are quiet.

Not a peep from a Ninja, not even a fart, and if they do fart you can damn well bet it’s gonna be silent and deadly!

Why?

Cuz Ninjas know that when the shit goes down, and it most certainly will if a Ninjas around, but when they’re around, it pays to be quiet and hide.

Shhh!

You hear that?

That’s right, you didn’t hear shit because a Ninja didn’t become a Ninja by being all loud and shit.

They were trained in the ancient Ninja art, stuff you can’t learn by going to College, unless it’s a Ninja college.

WHAT WAS THAT?

Was that the Ninja?

I don’t know man, but I’m freaking out here! I feel like Grover in that book, “There’s a Monster at the End of this Book”.

You know the one, where Grover is saying “don’t turn the page, don’t turn the page! There’s a monster at the end of this book!” Yet we the reader just keep saying “fuck you Mr Grover”, and keep on turnin. But when we get to the end we all find out that Grover was the monster at the end and everybody ends up happy.

Except, this ain’t no book, and I’m no Ninja and you most certainly ain’t happy. So watch out.