car

Confused man thinks someone called his name

Posted on by Talker99

For Tempe, Arizona resident Jerrod Ward, walking to and from work every day is more than just his way of saying that he’s trying to live “Green”, it’s also his favorite part of the day.

“Well, my favorite two parts of the day.” Jerrod told us by phone last Tuesday night, “See, cause I walk to work and then back home after I get off…….so, it’s my favorite “two” parts of the day.”

He then laughs and asks if I get the humor in what he said…..

(silence)

But last Monday night his walk home was interrupted for a few Earth shattering moments by a belief that someone called out his name, sending him into a confused state of looking around and wondering who it was.

Police are said to be investigating more important matters.

Bible 2 announced

Posted on by Talker99

Santa Monica, California

God, in all his Glory, announced Tuesday that he is planning a sequel to his best selling novel of all time, “The Bible”, titled, “Bible 2”.

God took the time to sit down and tell me what the sequel is about and why exactly it took hundreds of years to complete.
“The story will take place ten years in the future. Jesus, now living in a Tibetan monastery and studying the wisdom of Buddha, has become more self reliant and sure of his place in the universe. He is also happily dating a local Orthodontist named Kristen.

It seems like the prodigal son finally is at peace with the world around him so he starts to let his hair down a bit.

He also finds he rather enjoys being out of the limelight. He especially loves living in a place that could care less who he is and enjoys just walking around town and not being constantly asked for a miracle.

All those years of carrying the sins of mankind were a bit much for him and this Jesus is a much more war torn and weary savior.

Gone is the Jesus of old, the forgiving Jesus if you will….no, this Jesus is much more cynical and distant.

Of course the little happiness that he does have is fleeting and trouble comes in a hellish way when the Devil comes back to settle a score.

Jesus must then gather up his posse of apostles and fight to save all he loves.

Its part redemption tale and part action adventure with a bit of romance thrown in for good measure.

The reason for such the long wait was simple….I had no idea where to go with the story. (he starts to laugh, a big, booming laugh that causes the lights in our office to flicker on and off) Once I had the initial plot line though it just flowed out of me and I wrote it within a week. I know the fans will love it.”

Look for this and Gods upcoming autobiography, “The Divine Light and the Creation of Me” coming this year, both from Bantom Publishing.

Boy starts silent protest

Posted on by Talker99

Three year old Green Ridge, South Carolina resident Tommy Wilcox is in minute four of his silent protest which is currently underway inside his mothers Ford Mustang.

Tensions between Tommy and his mother came to a head only ten minutes earlier when he realized that they were headed someplace other than the playground.

When he inquired where they were driving to, he was told to “quiet down” and they “will be at the Grocery store in a few minutes.”

Thinking quickly, Tommy started his low pitch squeal and kick move that sometimes helped him get what he wanted, though, even he admits that it has actually been some time since it last worked.

Next he tried manipulation and annoyance.

With only a 20 percent success rate, it was a desperate and risky move that was quickly shot down by his mom in the form of a mean threat to spank him when they arrived at the store.

With his slide and swing chances dwindling by the second, Tommy realized that a silent protest would make his point heard, complete with an angry face just to drive it home.

When we arrived on the scene it seemed as Tommy was holding steady in his silence with no sign of breaking anytime soon.

We’ll keep you updated as the action unfolds.