Bigfoot spotted in East Texas Macy’s

Shoppers at an East Texas mall got more than just good bargains while shopping at the local Macy’s department store.

At least four customers have reported that they saw the elusive Bigfoot while they were browsing through the men’s fashion section of the store.

Sandra Williams, who was there with her sixteen-year-old son, is one of the people who witnessed the creature. She sat down with us and described what it was she saw, “We were standing in the Ralph Lauren section of the menswear looking for clearance items. Suddenly there was this awful stench of what seemed to be urine and wet leaves. I was about to go and complain when my son starts tugging at my shoulder and pointing at what I thought was just a really tall and hairy man. Then I saw his feet, they were huge! I immediately knew what it was…Bigfoot! As shocked as I was, I stood there and watched as it looked over a few short sleeve Polo shirts. After a few minutes, it picked out a red, extra-large striped Polo and then wandered off into the sporting goods section. It was simply amazing!”

At least two other customers have come forth describing their encounter with the creature. It’s believed that the creature had come out of hiding because it was possibly attracted by the scent of the food court but ultimately stuck around due to the amazing savings taking place at the Macy’s one day sale.

Fourteen year old girl can’t wait to leave home

Kendra Hearst, age fourteen, said  today that she “can’t freaking wait till (she’s) old enough to get the hell out of this stupid hillbilly town and away from idiots like you!”

The “you” that Kendra was referring to are her parents, Daryl and Samantha Hearst, and the town in question is Gypsy, Wyoming, population 22,000.

No word yet as to where Kendra might go but early reports are saying it might be Jeremy Kirkpatrick’s house.