Jim Keen(72) of the Villages, a retirement community located in Florida, was golfing at the Villa Lake Golf course yesterday when he was unexpectedly attacked by Aliens.

Jack Reeds, who is Jim’s friend of twenty two years, was there at the time of the attack, he was kind enough to talk to us and tell us exactly what prompted such an act of aggression by beings from another world,

“We were just about to reach the eighth hole when it happened.

I was walking over to my clubs and Jim was washing his balls.

He always does that before each tee off….washing his balls just gets Jim all fired up and ready to play(chuckles).

Anyway, Jim steps up to tee off when all the sudden there’s this humming sound coming from all around us.

The hum seemed to grow louder and louder and louder till it was right on top of us, I swear I almost had a heart attack……I thought I was back in Korea, thats how loud it was!

. Well, Jim starts looking around and ducking for cover….all of a sudden the sky grows dark.

I look up and there is this huge space ship just hovering right above us. It’s just blocking out the sun, covering everything around us. It was huge, I mean…..just fucking huge! Words can’t describe it!

Jim starts screaming out…. He starts rambling how he was right. How he knew the Aliens were real and he didn’t just imagine them.

He tells me that they’ve been visiting him for about a week, taking him into their craft and looking him over.

Nothing sexual he says, more like a doctor telling you to turn and cough….he thought he might just have been dreaming so he didn’t tell anybody… so he wouldn’t sound crazy.

I tell ya brother, I felt like I was crazy.

Seeing that ship just sitting there made me think I had lost it(laughs). Anyways, all of a sudden, these two small grey creature like things just materialize right in front of us.

They stand there a moment, kinda scanning the surroundings, making sure it’s safe I guess….

Two minutes pass and they start walking over to Jim. I was feeling scared and proud all at once.

Scared because I was looking at little grey bug eyed creatures from space and proud cause this was going to change the world and my best friend was the acting ambassador to Earth…..

Well, they get maybe a foot away from Jim and it gets all quiet.

They are all just staring at each other, waiting to see who would move first. You could feel the tension in the air…..It got a little creepy honestly…. then all of the sudden one of the aliens starts talking gibberish to the other.

Nanoo nanoo type shit.

The little one points at Jim and the bigger one kinda nods his head up and down…..then they both go right over to Jim and kick him in the balls!

Jim cries out this low pitched whine and falls to the ground….kinda wheezing out….Well I guess that was the opening the aliens needed cuz they just started wailing on the poor bastard.

What was worse was that they really seemed to get into it. Kinda letting out these squeals of joy as they kicked.

This goes on for a few more seconds and then the little one puts his foot on Jim’s cheek and kinda stamps down like he’s putting out a cigarette …….and then they just disappeared, voom, gone.

It was the strangest shit I ever saw.

After that I just couldn’t play no more golf so I picked up Jim and took him to the hospital. His pride was pretty well shot for the rest of the day.”

Mr. Keen was treated for a mild concussion and fractured wrist. Police are said to be investigating