Today on classic retro rewind we are taking you waaaayyy back to when the people were panicked, the conspiracies were in abundance and the world seemed flipped upside down…. We are talking of course about the year 2001, directly after 9/11. The article you are about to read is one published three months after that horrible day. If I’m not mistaken this is my third post I ever published. We admit that its dated for sure and the thoughts and beliefs may be a little insensitive but its still kinda funny… Sign of the times is all we can say.

All of Washington D.C. is abuzz with news that Al qaeda, the Islamic terrorist sect, is planning something big for their next attack, but how big? Talker99 sat down with Al queda member Zemar Dunis, who runs the East New Jersey Islamic Cherry Hill Gang, a non-profit cure for cancer group in Blight, New Jersey and he filled us in on whats in store.

“What the word on the Muslim street is saying is that the next bombing will be tha bomb!

Oh yes, my fellow qaeda guys are most definitely going to attack……Attack your senses, so your mind will be blown!

First, there will be a huge parade through the streets, where the many Muslim men will preach about Allah and his wisdom. Following behind the men will be their women, dressed in their best veils and looking all the more sexy as they walk through the streets covered head to toe with their heads ducked low and their mouths shut.

After the parade there will be punch and pie in the “Infidel Tent”, a kind of, meet a Muslim type setting, where the men will teach and praise Allah and his wisdom. For that the women will be at home where they belong.

Then the fun begins as two of Al qaedas best magicians come to teach of the dangers and evil that black magic will bring you as their show starts with basic parlor tricks but then turns into a den of evil, which consequently turns into a beheading of one of the Magicians.

Do not worry though, it is a fun time for the kiddies. Also, be sure to go if not to see the Black Magic fools lovely assistants, you’ll feel the heat as they help whenever called for and then stand in their corners with their mouths shut and their heads down low.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve already reserved a seat for when it happens.”

More as it updates.