North Korea is planning to unveil it’s “hush hush, super top secret Proton Death Ray by mid-March, maybe mid-June” of next year, Kim Jong-un (The Jongster as he’s known in most circles) said by phone Tuesday night.

“We are planning to give those Iranians and their Super Sonic Mind Control Force Field a definite run for their money. And look out Russia, with your Weather Doppler Windy Shonisticia, you ain’t got nothing on us. Soon we will rule the world because we now have Death Ray.”

I then asked who was speaking and he said Kimmy Jong from North Korea. I told him I thought he might have dialed the wrong number. He then asked if he had called 512-456-9372? I replied “no, this was 9732.”

There was a brief silence, some heavy breathing, a muffled “shit” and then he hung up the phone.